Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Your Boyfriend is a Cheap Fuck!

Yes, sometimes I go on dates. Not a lot recently, but last year I swallowed the last of my dignity and joined That's another story altogether. Anyway, when I do go on a date, I always offer to pay my half of dinner just because I'm an independant bitch and all. (Of course, if he agrees, there is no second date just because I'm Southern and I guess that kinda stuff is (in)breed in me and all). But I digress. The point is, my ass will always, always, always sneak and see what he tiped. Because that says a lot about a person. You ain't gotta be rich, just don't be cheap. Also if he is a prick to the server, no goodies for him.
There is a cute little girl that comes into the place I work. Early 20's, really sweet and from what I hear, is actually a decent tipper when she is by herself. But her boyfriend. That is a whole other story. First of all he's about 20 years older than her. Not that I have a problem with that (I ain't sayin' she's a golddigger, she actually seems to care about this douche). But this fucker is cheap. 10% if you're lucky. So by association, I guess that means she sucks too. And the thing is, we all know this guy has money. He drives this huge ass truck that probally cost much more than the penile implant it is trying to compensate for. They come in a few times a month and when we see them walk in, all the servers run to the hostesses, The Anoriexic Toddler or Asperger's Annie (more about them in later posts) and begs to not have them seated in their sections.
It almost makes me embarrassed for this poor girl. But not really. Bitch, have to you not one time ever noticed that he leaves shit for tips and that we are all beyond the point to being nice to him anymore? I guess its hard to see anything over the huge ass rock you pressured his ass into buying you. Do you not realize that we all talk shit about you? But then again why should you care. It's not like you have to work or anything to take care of yourself or anything.
About six or seven months ago, they were on a "break" or some shit. I don't know the whole story. But I saw her out and she was all, "blah, blah, blah, I miss him, I love him, blahfucking blah." I still regret not being drunk enough to tell her that he is a cheap fuck and everyone hates his ass. I mean, what are Facebook Friends for, right? But I kept my mouth shut because everyone knows if you talk shit about someone's ex and then they get back together, you become that bitch that talked shit about her boyfriend. And, of course, she got back with him and began sporting the big ass rock (I guess that worked things out). They come in all the time and he still sucks. So I guess she still sucks too.
But I see it all the time. Couple comes in. Guy tips for shit and dumbass girl leaves hand and hand with him most likely to go home and contract a STD from his cheap ass. I feel no pity for these girls. Shame on you bitch! Buying you a nice steak dinner to get into your pants is an asshole thing to do if he fucks his server too.
Ladies, take a peek at the credit card receipt. He if gets offended, fuck him. How he treats the waitstaff (with his actions or his wallet) will tell you everything you will ever need to know about a person.


  1. I like to make "random" conversation with a guy I'm dating about tipping. I'm usually pretty blunt too on what I think is an acceptable tip. If I see that they don't tip well at all I will make a point of putting more money on the table. I figure if you treat strangers like crap you'll eventually treat me like crap too.

    visions unto myself

  2. I once dated a British guy (what can I say, I'm a sucker for an accent), that didn't understand the American system of tipping. After trying to leave a shitty tip at a place where I knew several people who worked there, we got in a very heated argument about tipping and I threw down enough to make up for his dumbassness. Things went pretty much downhill after that and he took his cheap ass back to the UK.

  3. When I was dating I always peeked too.